Introduction :
Many people think a relationship is about love and companionship, but often it’s just a temporary bond based on attraction. Once that attraction fades, problems, misunderstandings, and heartbreak follow. Most relationships don’t end peacefully; they leave pain and regret. Islam forbids such relationships not to restrict us, but to protect us. In this blog, I will show that these boundaries have a purpose.
Modern Relationships as a “Trend”
In today’s world, being in a relationship is considered normal. People who stay away are often seen as outdated or negative. From my own experience, those who avoid haram relationships are sometimes judged as overly strict or “negative-minded.” Society often labels talking to boys as modern, trendy, or harmless, and this mindset gradually influences good people as well.
Most of the time, it starts with talking to a non-mahram boy. Girls today often think it’s normal to chat on Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp, or even with classmates or colleagues. But just because someone studies or works with a boy doesn’t give the right to unnecessary personal interaction. When someone points out that this is wrong, they are often called negative-minded, with the argument: “Not every girl and boy has bad intentions.”
Islam Doesn’t Stop Interaction, It Guides It
Islam doesn’t forbid women from interacting with men entirely. Boundaries are set to protect dignity, heart, and morality. It is acceptable to exchange numbers or stay in contact for educational or work purposes. The problem begins when casual communication turns into emotional attachment.
How It Usually Starts
The cycle often begins with exchanging numbers or social media accounts. The cycle can even start when a boy approaches girl and she accpets it or you can say it starts often by accpeting requests of boys on social media . What starts as normal conversation soon becomes jokes, sharing personal life stories, and eventually talking late at night.
Late-night chats are not harmless. Islam encourages sleeping soon after Isha prayer to maintain mental peace, emotional stability, and moral protection. What may seem like casual time-pass for men is often taken seriously by women emotionally.
This doesn’t mean all women are innocent or all men are careless — there are playboys and playgirls alike. Accepting this harsh reality is necessary to understand how such situations develop and why boundaries exist.
Shaitan’s Role in Unrestricted Interaction
It’s important to understand that Shaitan is always present between a man and a woman when they are alone. That’s why casual chatting with non-mahram boys is never harmless, even if they convince themselves they are “like brother and sister.” The truth is, a brother is given by Allah — you cannot make a non-mahram your brother. Pretending otherwise is self-deception and opens the door to harm, both emotionally and spiritually.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“لا يَخْلُونَّ رَجُلٌ بِامْرَأَةٍ إِلاَّ كَانَ ثَالِثَهُمَا الشَّيْطَانُ”(“No man should be alone (in seclusion) with a woman, for Shaitan is the third among them.”
Why Casual Relationships Are Misleading
So Islam basically prohibits a man and a woman from being alone in one place, and the same applies to private chatting. You can feel like you are just talking innocently, but night-time conversations make it even worse, according to psychology.
At the beginning, it seems sweet and peaceful. People enjoy it, feel full of life, and some even have the misconception that they are in love. I have personally seen many who bravely and shamelessly admit that they are “in love.” The concept of love is another topic I will definitely write about, but for now, it is enough to point out that girls and boys often have a misconception — in reality, you cannot truly love a non-mahram, and that is the final perspective. You can come to me if you disagree, but this is what I observe.
Now, back to the topic: people in these relationships think they love each other, but in most cases, if they get into a fight, they cannot fight properly because deep down they know something is wrong. In 99% of cases, one of them cheats. When a relationship is based only on attraction and months of chatting or other inappropriate activities, the initial spark fades, and nothing remains to sustain it.In these type of relationships they cannot trust eachother and that’s a fact we cannot deny .
The Social Consequences When a Boy Cheats
When a boy cheats, the consequences for girls are often severe. In many cases, girls have shared inappropriate pictures or even met boys in private rooms or alone places, and the results can be indescribable. That itself is a shameful and serious issue.
In other cases, boys blackmail girls. The worst part about these relationships, especially in Pakistan and other Islamic countries, is that they are kept secret. Girls, mark my words: here is a lesson that can guide you for life — if you feel the need to hide it from others, it is likely wrong. Good things never need to be hidden. This simple rule can help you judge what is right or wrong.
When boys resort to blackmail, the consequences can be tragic. Many girls feel helpless and sometimes even take their own lives, which leads to devastating effects for families and society — a reality that does not even need further explanation.
Why People Get Drawn to Haram Relationships
People are often drawn to relationships because they seem exciting from the outside, but inside they are a complete mess. You may enter feeling happy, but coming out is never easy. Media plays a huge role in this. Films, dramas, and especially online dating apps have a strong influence on young minds, shaping unrealistic ideas about love and relationships.
It all starts there — people begin to feel incomplete or lonely without a haram relationship, influenced by low-quality movies, TV shows, and novels. Yes, novels! I have read some myself, and by God, many were nothing but garbage. I don’t mean to say all novels are bad; some writers do produce good content, and I appreciate their publications. But nowadays, romantic and shameless novels are widespread, and young girls read them as if there is nothing better in the world.
I can’t change anyone’s perspective if they don’t want to consider it, but here are the facts that girls have to face I have shared:
1.Emotional damage
2.Social disgrace
3.Loss of haya (modesty)
4.Damage to your akhirah
5.Spoiling your femininity
6.Hurting your parents
Girls, the choice is yours. When a boy approaches, remember: boys approach every girl, saying sweet words — it’s not just you. You cannot justify it by thinking, “Mine is different.” Mark my words: non-mahram men cannot be your friends. They can be like fire and a snake for your grave.
Conclusion
Modern relationships may seem harmless, fun, and exciting, but the reality is often the opposite. Emotional damage, social shame, loss of modesty, spiritual harm, and family distress are very real consequences. Islam’s boundaries exist not to restrict, but to protect. Awareness, self-discipline, and reflection can help young people avoid harm, preserve dignity, and choose a path that brings true peace and barakah in life.